The Olympian Parody
by Maiko.Chan12
Summary: As the title says . This story mocks a few gods, their stereotypes as well as their myths...also a few FanFiction firsts may happen. You've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

((This is my second work in Greek Mythology, people! For this, I shall mock/make fun/possibly idolize certain myth, gods, nymphs, facts, knock down certain stereotypes, enforce new ones….and hope that they all don't come back to haunt me. My first shall be….the gods~! As for which…you shall see….))

One day on Olympus-wait, wait, wait, and wait. Not Olympus. In a forest, where the sounds of brooks, flowing streams, calling birds(no Christmas carols, people!), animals sounding out to one another, and the shrieks of an angry Queen of Olympus, finally caught her husband near a clear grove, getting playful with a rather attractive nymph. "This has gone on far enough, Zeus! YOU AND ME. ARE. THROUGH!" She announced wrathfully as she separated the two and advanced toward the King of Olympus while the nymph fled in fear, not caring who heard, mortal or not. "B-B-But…but honey—" Jove stammered out a worthless explanation. "No, Zeus, I'm done! I'm sick of you hurting me, cheating on me….I'm….I'll….I'm going to…._I'm calling Maury!_" She threatened as the Olympian King cringed in fear at the name of the great Paternity Tester.

"Okay darling…we c-could work this out—" He has stopped by his wife's finger to his lips…a finger that sent jolts of lightning coursing through his body, knocking him out. The still incensed Juno promptly picked him up and slung him over one shoulder, taking the form of a beautiful, rosy-cheeked, early 30-something, petite brunette beauty as the unconscious King unknowingly took on the form of a tall, muscled, tan, blond male with golden eyes behind closed eyelids; all the while, she muttered as she carried him back to Olympus: "You're not the only one who can wield lightning, bitch."

Apollo and Helios, who were busy playing blackjack and betting cattle, were the first to spot the Queen carrying King. "No way…" The Sun gasped as the lyre-strumming Prophet muttered while shaking his curly blond head, "It happened at last…Even I should've seen it coming…" Meanwhile, more of the nymphs who were the victims of Zeus's wandering eye as well as Hera's wrath gave a rising cheer as said Queen passed through and up the mountain, not bothering to use her godly powers to teleport herself to the very top. "So…It's finally come to this, huh? Little bro, you sure screwed up this time." Poseidon, god of the seas, sighed as Zeus finally came to, chained to his throne. "Huh…? What in Tartarus happened?" He mumbled as he opened his eyes but remained immobile. "Well, duh! You got epically owned by your own wife and now she's dragging you on national mortal TV to be publically humiliated." Poseidon explained, about ready to clunk his foolish younger brother over the head as said brother muttered as if he didn't seem to care at all what she did, "And? Did something else happen?" "Yup; she's divorcing you." Neptune deadpanned as Zeus bellowed out, eyes toward the sky in Skywalker-style, "_Noooooooooooooooooo!_" Oh sure, _now _he cares.

((Next chapter will be when Hera, Zeus, and a few others shall appear on the Maury Show! I'll put up a poll on my profile asking which god/myth/couple you guys want me to do next~. Zeus is _soooo _screwed right now…))


	2. Airports, New names, and Zeus's shame!

((That's right, folks! Here's another one…well, it's actually Part 2, where Hera drags Zeus to _The Maury Show _to denounce him and warn everyone of the dangers of becoming Zeus's…*ahem*..Playmate when he gets bored and/or lonely. Ah, there's also another Greek couple appearing, but you'll just have to see~. Ah, and I don't own any of the Greek myths. Ever. Also, in order to keep up mortal appearances, the gods all gave themselves mortal names (a reference for some of them); however, some kept their Roman names. Enjoy, folks, and watch Zeus (as well as other cheating deities) get toasted~!

EDIT: Well…This is an interval between 'at the airport' and actually heading to the Maury studio…))

Several weeks after Hera pimp-zapped Zeus and dragged him up to Olympus, they as well as the other Olympians (Hades, however, was forced to come, along with his eager wife and Erebian residents) took on human disguises and bought tickets for none other than _The Maury Show_. The now brunette Hera, or, her mortal name, Janice, received a voice message from the infamous Maury Povich himself at 2 in the morning in her palace: "_Miss Janice, are you and your guests ready? If so, call me back and let me know._" Janice (Hera) picked up the phone with a slightly shaking hand and dialed the number on the card Maury _himself _gave her (lucky goddess…). And with two little words, she sealed her fate: "I'm ready…" before getting up, getting dressed, and practically throttling the rest of her messed up family from sleep.

**Now, at the airport…**

"Alright, everyone, since we're going to be around the mortals and already have their image down, we'll need mortal names." Athena the brainy one advised the Olympians (plus Hades and a few Erebians). "Oh! Oh! Pick me first~!" The green-eyed brunette Dionysus the party animal clamored, raising his hand as if he were a child at school. "Dionysus, you'll have to think of a name yourself." The weaver goddess deadpanned as the wine god thought for a bit and shrugged, "Okay, I guess I'll be Daniel." "I'll go next~! Behold! I was _once _Hermes, now I'm _Mason_! Ha! Eat that, _Daniel_!" The red-headed, emerald-eyed Olympian Messenger boasted, rubbing in his supposedly better 'name' into the face of the wine god, who promptly rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I'm keeping my other name." The silver-eyed pale blonde Artemis stated as her golden-eyed (and equally golden-haired) twin brother Apollo questioned as he slung his 'guitar' on his back, "What other name, sis?" "My Roman name: Diana." She replied as she slipped on a pair of brass knuckles on while a few of the Olympian males gave an all-knowing look: "Someone's gonna get their teeth knocked out…"

"I shall keep my Roman name, Minerva." Dark-haired, gray-eyed Athena announced as she turned to the Olympian Poet. "Hmmm…I'll be…Alphonse." He said simply as he now began to take out his lyre (due to an illusion spell, it was a guitar to mortals)and began to strum softly, like the musical badass he is…next to Queen, Coldplay, and Daft Punk, that is. "I've…thought of a name…" The brown-eyed, dark-haired blacksmith of the gods, Hephaestus, suggested softly, despite his gruff tone. "Well then, what is it?" The red-headed, brown-eyed hearth-goddess formerly known as Hestia asked kindly (more fics should be written on her!). "M-Michael…" He responded, shuffling his feet, all the while thinking to himself, _Why in Tartarus did I choose that name? _However, Dionysus (now Daniel) and Hestia voiced otherwise: "It sounds nice~. It suits you!" while Hephaestus, now finally feeling cool (he always has been), smiled proudly. Meanwhile, Hermes (now Mason) pestered his once fish-like uncle Poseidon, "Hey, uncle, did you pick a name yet? Huh? Huh~? Aw, come on! I picked mine~! I dare you to—" "Will you shut up? I've already found a name!" The now black-haired, sea-blue-eyed Poseidon growled, ready to knock out Herm—I mean, _Mason_—with his trident…if he hadn't stored it in one of his suitcases. "Well then, _uncle_, what's the name?" _Mason _pestered yet again. "My name…is Percival…or Percy for short…" "….You've got to be kidding." The Messenger deadpanned…before breaking into a boom of laughter. "No freaking way! Of all names you could think of, you went with _that_? That is soooo completely lame~!" His jeering was stopped by a knock over his head. "Need I remind you that I can knock you out of the sky with one swipe of my trident?" Poseidon—now Percival, though you lovely readers can call him Percy—hissed like sea foam, this 6'5 god towering over the lanky 5'9 and currently quaking Messenger God. "Riiiight…f-forgot about that…." _Mason _squeaked, cowed by his new uncle _Percival_.

"Alright, everyone who's preferred a name comes on my right; those haven't, on my left." Minerva advised as Dionysus (Daniel), Hermes (Mason), Artemis (Diana), Apollo (Alphonse), Hephaestus (Michael), and now Poseidon (Percival/Percy) moved to Athena's right side. "Okay then. Those who didn't choose yet, you should pick and pick _now_; Hera and Zeus should be arriving in the next 15 minutes or so." She estimated as the always blonde, green-eyed Aphrodite flipped her ever-so-radiant blonde locks and whined like the brat she was. "Do we have to?" "_Yes!_" A group of now pissed-off Olympians stormed back at the vain goddess. "Fine…I choose…I don't know, May or whatever…" She sighed, honestly not caring about whether her name was the same of a cartoon character or not. "Hmmm, I think I've found a name." Hestia smiled softly. "Well, tell us!" Minerva urged. "It will be…Aileen." Hestia, who was now Aileen, announced timidly as she joined the deities on Minerva's right side, who praised her with her new 'name'. "Okay! Everyone rea—" The wise goddess was cut off by a screech of "_WAIT_!" from two all-too-familiar Olympians: a certain cowardly god of war and a certain overprotective goddess of the harvest. "What is it _now_?" An exasperated wine god named Daniel groaned, running a hand through his brown locks. "How come they get cool names and we don't?" A red-eyed, black-haired god of war whined and pouted like a certain goddess of beauty*. "Oh, will the both of you be quiet already! You just got here late, is all!" Scolded the tall, dark, black-haired, black-eyed King of Underworld formerly known as Hades, who held an enormously annoyed look on his face…he was NOT amused. "Oh really, smartass? What do _you _think my name should be?" Demeter sneered at her brother-in-law who was also her brother. "Simple: Medusa." Hades answered and shrugged nonchalantly while Demeter threw a mini-temper tantrum by causing all of the fancy plants surrounding (and even inside) the airport to wilt and shrivel. "Heh heh~, Mom got ripped on~!" Her daughter Persephone, who was also Hades's wife, laughed as Mason (Hermes) and Alphonse (Apollo) began joining in.

"Medusa (Demeter) got ripped on~!" The new version of the Bad Friends Trio* cheered as Hades tried to stifle his laugh and announced, smiling for the first time in a century, "I've a name for myself: Aiden." He grinned as he sauntered over to the right of Minerva, where the others with names were waiting. "Now calm yourself, Demeter…or in this case, _Medusa_." Chided a powerful voice that no doubt seemed to belong to none other than Hera…or in this case, Janice; she was headed towards the Olympians with suitcases and long leash in hand and a pair of sunglasses on her head. "Is everyone accounted for?" She asked, her perfectly queenly form towering over everyone….and making heads turn. Not that she didn't like it, that is. "Hey! What the hell about me?" Ares asked, pathetically hating on being ignored. "You can keep your Roman name, you know. We aren't called the Greco-_Roman _gods for nothing!" She snapped at the cowardly war god, who shrunk back in fear when she looked as if ready to pimp slap him. "Your Majesty, if you don't mind me asking…what is on the other end of that leash?" Minerva (a.k.a Athena) asked, despite nearly knowing the answer herself due to being the goddess of wisdom. "Oh, I'll show you~." The Queen grinned as she yanked on the leash, pulling a humiliated, blond, tan Zeus wearing an eccentric white and black outfit…at which the deities present burst into laughter…and yes, including Hades.

"Come on, let's move! We don't want to be late!" Her Highness ordered as the Olympians (+ Hades and Persephone) boarded the nearest plane they could find, dragging Zeus with them(literally).

((Whoever spots the references gets a hug and a cookie from me! Oh, and the answers must come in the shape of REVIEWS~! So, review, and I'll have Hades kiss Persephone~!  
Hades and Persephone: *are already kissing*  
Dang…But awwwww~!))


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